Mercy, Mercy, Me - The Kerry Stalker Part IV

This is just incredible. (Click the picture for the larger screenshot.) This shot was just too asinine to pass up. I bet y'all thought that I was kidding.

My Response

To The Head Moron in Charge,

This is the fourth time that I have unsubscribed from your spam list. It has become obvious that your organization is using a spam-bot to find addresses to mail this unsolicited pandering for dollars. I get less spam-mail from the Viagra people.

Please try to get me off your spam list AND you might want to skip sending this Hurricane e-mail to other people from Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and other states that were affected by the hurricane. At least TRY to have some sense of right and wrong while you are trying to get people to vote for this man that hates our country.

I know that the vast majority of the people working at your organization are complete morons, there is no other reason that you would work for an organization that supports a treasonous, lying, Democrat hack, but at least crank up the old gray matter before hitting send on your spam-bot.

While, I do agree that obviously 48% of the country shares your organization's hatred of this country, you might want to restrict your spamming to the areas of the country where your candidate received a percentage of the vote. We adults in the areas that know beyond a shadow of a doubt what your party stands for DO NOT appreciate it at all when you interrupt our lives with this sophomoric drivel.

By the way, donations of my time and money have been towards my neighbors. I have spent the majority of the afternoon running a chainsaw to try to remove debris from my neighborhood. Trust me, sending money to groups that your organization pimps for falls low on my list. Does the Red Cross know that John F'ing Kerry is pimping for dollars on his website? Well obviously, because when I clicked the link in the e-mail, there was a little redirect that included Kerry's name. Can't have that pimping go unnoticed, huh?

You people should hit your knees tonight and pray to whatever y'all pray to for forgiveness for your overwhelming stupidity. While I am not sure if what your organization is doing falls in the category of being illegal, it sure is tasteless and stupid.

UPDATE: A commenter brought up the point that the Red Cross is a good charity. There is only one problem with that comment, the AMERICAN Red Cross (www.RedCross.org)is a good charity, the INTERNATIONAL Red Cross (www.icrc.org/)is something completely different. Ironically, Kerry's spam-mail links the International Red Cross. Couldn't expect otherwise.

The Mississippi Gulf Coast

Links to footage of the Coast area. Keep these folks in your prayers.

WLBT: Numerous video links
WAPT: More footage and links

basil has a ROUNDUP this morning.

WTW - Antiques Roadshow

My sister and Jimmy Pete went on a ture of the Antibeal antabeal aunti old homesites in Missippi and got some pitchurs. Jimmy Pete likes him some old stuff. Cameros is his favrite.

Klik the pitchur to git it big!

Go reed my cuzzins blogs on the sidebarr. It be the Rednecks and Trollops links.

No Electricity? Let's Get Smashed!

Usually I do a post with frozen drinks because of the sweltering heat in Mississippi. This week I will offer what little help I can to my friends without power. Yes, I know that they can't read this post, but they can put these ingredients aside, just like the tuna and bottled water, for future power outages. It pays to plan ahead. Trust me, you don't want to shoot looters while you're sober. Remember when the power's out, the safety is OFF.

Windex
You will need:
4 ounces Blue Curacao
4 ounces Lime Juice
4 ounces Triple Sec
4 ounces Vodka

Forego the squirt bottle and put this stuff straight in a clean half-gallon milk jug. Shake vigorously. Add ice if you got it.

Here's what you say when a looter comes calling, "My power's out and my wheelchair batteries are dead." Hide behind the largest piece of heavy furniture you have and get ready to start blasting. It's loads of fun on a budget.

Stay safe folks.

Romance - The Two Dogs Way (Onset of a Recurring Series)

Excerpt from an actual conversation.

Her: There's nothing better than a homecooked meal and a nice glass of wine after the power being off for a couple of days.

Me: I dunno, animalistic sex sounds pretty good to me.

As usual, I was right. I'm going to throw the main breaker later on in the week.

Dammit!

Is everyone okay? I can't get through to my friends on the coast and I am concerned. If you are a Southern blogger, let me know how you are. It's ugly here in Jackson, but we are getting the power back on and are harboring all of the refugees that we can. I will post more later after eating (I mean drinking, you know that) 38 gallons of ice cream that's going bad as we speak.

And Linda, you are in my prayers. Let me hear from you as soon as possible.

Here We Go Again - The Kerry Stalker Part III

It seems that my best friend John F. Kerry simply cannot take the hint and stop e-mailing me. I think that someone must be signing me up for the e-mail list every week. This will be my third response to Kerry and my third time to unsubscribe. Geez, this people are thick in the head.

And Joe-6-Pack has a little article about other things that you WILL NOT HEAR from the Leftist Press.

Here we go:


Dear Two, (I'm sure that you have plenty of folks in your e-mail list named "Moonbeam", "Chronica", and "Abdulla", but "Two"? Are y'all complete morons? Yes, that goes without saying.)

President Bush has a major opportunity today. He's leaving Crawford to speak to the Veterans of Foreign Wars' convention in Utah. When he does, he needs to leave behind the pep talks, the open-ended "things are looking better" claims and the empty rhetoric. (He should simply say, "The Democrats hate this country and wish that all of you veterans had died in losing wars.")

It's time for the President to stand and deliver. (You damn skippy!)

That's why I am asking you to support an "America Demands Answers" petition to President Bush. Starting with today's VFW speech, we're going to keep the pressure on George W. Bush until he finally addresses questions that have gone unanswered for far too long. (Like "Where is the information from your Form 180, you miserable excuse for a Lurch wannabe.")

http://www.johnkerry.com/petition/answers.php (Kerry and the Democrats need money!)

Every American deserves straight answers from the President -- and no one deserves them more than America's veterans and our military families. (Here's an answer for you, Herman, there is a thing called "treason" in this country. And your picture is right next to it in the dictionary.)

When will the President get it right in Iraq? (Most Americans fail to see where he got it wrong. Lying about your topic doesn't help your case. Stop this nonsense and just focus on getting felons the right to vote.)

When will he deliver to the nation and those sacrificing so much in Iraq a concrete plan for peace and victory? (He already did. The plan is to kill the people that want everyone else dead or have you not heard that?)

Why, at this late date, is the Pentagon still struggling to get the right supplies and body armor to America's troops? (It could be because of some Senators that voted AGAINST supplying our armed forces every time a spending bill came up.)

When will the President support a military large enough to face the challenges of today's world? (Will you support a military at all or were those votes in the Senate just your sick sense of humor?)

And when will the President stop short-changing America's veterans? When will he stop closing hospitals, cutting benefits, and making veterans wait weeks for a doctor's appointment? (Okay, you can have another Purple Heart and another honorable discharge if you will just get another papercut or something.)

Tell the President, it's time for answers. I am a veteran who is deeply concerned about the administration's lack of clarity on Iraq and lack of compassion on veterans' benefits. Join me in signing the "America Demands Answers" petition. (Wait, you're a veteran? Why have I not heard this like eleventy billion times from your mouth? And the funny thing is that your entire chain of command says that you SUCKED as a soldier. You are a coward and a liar. And furthermore, I'm guessing there will be a lot of "X's" on that petition. The only folks that are on your side of the issue cannot read or write.)

http://www.johnkerry.com/petition/answers.php (Me love you long time!)

Our goal is to announce that thousands of people from all 50 states have signed the petition before the President delivers his VFW address later today. You can help us get there. (Wow, there are actually people in states other than California that hate our country too?)

For what the President and his Republican allies are wasting on pork barrel spending and tax giveaways, we can honor America's promise to our veterans. But, earlier this year, the Department of Veterans Affairs admitted that they were more than $1 billion short of meeting veterans' health care needs this year. Time after time, the President has opposed adequate funding for VA health care. (Yea, and the President is the one that passes spending bills. Oh, wait, no that's the Congress.)

A President who leads a nation into war shouldn't have to be pulled kicking and screaming into keeping America's promise to our veterans and to their families. (George Bush was flying the planes on September 11, 2001? John, you should have come forward with that information earlier. I am sure that Jamie Gorelick would have believed you. Remember her? She's the one in the Clinton administration that penned the memo that made September 11 possible. All from your friends in the Democrat Party.)

With critical votes on the President's budget and the Defense Authorization bill scheduled for September -- and critical deadlines fast approaching in Iraq -- it's time for President Bush to speak to the American people with clarity and conviction. It's time for a plan. (I think that the plan is to continue to show the American people that Democrats want Islamic terrorists to kill all Christians and then peace will finally be within our grasp.)

There's no better time to deliver it than now. And no better place to deliver it than before an audience of those who have served and sacrificed for this great nation. (While I have such an audience, I shall state my case. You are the lowest form of human debris living, besides Cindy Sheehan. You spat on our sevicemen and women, lied to Congress about your own actions, left your own constituents without representation while you pimped for the Presidency, abandoned your family when you found another woman with more money, and continue to attempt to tarnish the reputation of someone that bested you in a National election because you are a sore loser.)

So, please, sign our "America Demands Answers" petition now. And forward this message immediately to others you know who care deeply about the need for President Bush to act. (I will sign up on the day that you provide tha answers that you PROMISED while pimping for the Presidency. You have no crebility with anyone other than your party hacks. And if you continue to e-mail me, I will be forced to resort to tactics that are not nice. Please do not send me anymore of this crap, no one buys it and it is a waste of my time.)

Sincerely,

John Kerry

I'll keep y'all posted of further developments. And if you are the person that keeps signing me up for this, I will find you and make you pay.

UPDATE: Go HERE and check Number Three!

WTW-We All Skreem for Jesus

Jimmy Pete done come up with the best idee yet. Ice cream church! He done went out and bowt a ol Dairy Queen and turnt it inna Greenwood Bible Fellowship Church. "You skreem, I skreem, we all skreeeeem fer Jesus! He even kep the play things for the kids.

Check out m' cuzzins on the sidebar. They's Rednecks and Trollops.

Weekend Quiz and Bottomfeeder Link

Here's a new feature at your One-Stop Shop of Information. Every week, I will drop by some of the blogs on the lower rungs of the Ecosystem ladder. These picks will not suck, they are either just starting or are not chomping at the link bit. This week's blog is a good one. Cincinnati Reds news all the time at The Red Reporter. The traffic is stellar on this site, but links keep it down. Link this site now.

And now the Quiz: These things help me so much in my life.

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is. You're laid back and chill, and could not care less what other people think. Your friends worship the ground you walk on and try to emulate you. You tend to dream big and know that those dreams will become reality.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Death With Dignity

While our main purpose at this little blog is to save lives, we have also decided to increase the positive sensations during the death process as well. I don't usually drink the frozen drinks too much, but it is currently 127 degrees in the shade here and most of the shade has melted.

Death By Chocolate

Round this stuff up:
2 ounces Irish Cream Liqueur
1 ounce Brown Creme de Cacao
1 ounce Vodka
2 scoops Chocolate Ice Cream
2 cups Ice

Dump this all in the trusty blender and go to town. As always, put the damn top on! Top the mugs with whipped cream and then some of those chocolate sprinkle things. Strip down to some jorts and a wife-beater and stroll out to the deck.

An Aside: Michele Malkin has overtaken Glenn Reynolds at the top of the Blogosphere pecking order today. Yes, there is change in the air. Currently, I am a mere 5680 links from the top. Link this blog and make everything right in the world.

UPDATE: There is so much traffic coming from the Carnival and no one comments? Speak up folks, we blog for the comments. Thanks for visiting and keep coming back.

What Black Folks Think of Black Folks

My friend Walt e-mailed this little piece of disinformation from Target Market by way of USA Today. I think that I'll throw in my two cents to this piece of fabrication. And just so you racists know, Walt is Black. *gasp* I know some black folk.

The Article: (with commentary)

USA Today article on Black Spending Habits:

These are tough economic times (Despite all the evidence to the contrary), especially for African-Americans, whom the unemployment rate is more than 10%.(Actually 8.7%, but who's counting?) Alarmingly, rather than belt-tightening, the response has been to spend more. In many poor neighborhoods, one is likely to notice satellite dishes and expensive new cars. (Did it ever occur to these people that maybe some folks CHOOSE to live in cheaper neighborhoods and drive nicer cars?)

According to Target Market, a company that tracks black consumer spending, blacks spends a significant amount of their income on depreciable products. (As does every other race in the world)

In 2002, the year the economy nose-dived (This said even though the FACTS show exactly the opposite. The economy turned down in 1997, and has been making a recovery since 2001); we spent $22.9 billion ($22,900,000,000.00) on clothes, $3.2 billion ($3,000,000,000.00) on electronics and $11.6 billion ($11,000,000,000.00) on furniture to put into homes that, in many cases, were rented. (A stupid point, but one I will dissect. There are approximately 39.4 million Black people in this country. This is from the 2000 Census. This clothing figure breaks down to $581.00 dollars for each of the 39.4 million people. This does not seem odd to me. Clothes SHOULD always be worn when you are in public. $81 for each on electronics. It seems somewhat low, but they are the figures cited. And a whopping $279 for furniture. The numbers look really daunting out of context, which they are in the article, but here are the totals. Cited figures only amount to $941 per year for each Black person. It just doesn't seem scary now, does it?)

Among our favorite purchases are cars and liquor. Blacks make up only 12% of the U.S. population, yet account for 30% of the country's Scotch consumption. (Whites account for almost 100% of Britney Spears album sales) Detroit, which is 80% black, is the world's No.1 market for Cognac. (What in the Hell is the point here? I'm guessing that Detroit is also the Number One market for Pistons jerseys, too. Nashville is probably the Number One market for banjos and somewhere that has alot of Polka dancers probably invests in a lot of accordians, which is worse? I guess this would bother me if Detroit was the Number One market for child pornography, but oddly enough that is San Francisco which has relatively few minority folks.)
So impressed was Lincoln with the $46.7 billion ($46,000,000,000) ($1168 per person) that blacks spent on cars that the automaker commissioned Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, the entertainment and fashion mogul, to design a limited-edition Navigator replete with six plasma screens, three DVD players and a Sony PlayStation 2. (And you know that Puffy's was the leading selling Navigator of all time, right? Well not exactly. They have not been released and there will only be 100 made. Plus they will sell for $85,000 and Puffy has financed the deal) The only area where blacks seem to be cutting back on spending is books (The same as everyone else. It means that people are finding their information in other venues like Project Gutenberg); total purchases have gone from a high of $356 million in 2000 to $303 million in 2002. This shortsighted behavior, motivated by a desire for instant gratification and social acceptance, comes at the expense of our future. (Hey, might as well just say, "Yo' Mama!" This is about Blacks telling Blacks that they are immature and insecure. Try that at my family reunion and you might get cut)

The National Urban League's "State of Black America 2004" report found that fewer than 50% of black families owned their homes compared with more than 70% of whites. (This is not alarming either. History has shown that the Black population in this country is more migrant than the White population. Why buy a house if you are going to move? I would like to see these stats broken down into age, then there could be a comparison of something that was worthwhile.)

According to published reports, the Ariel Mutual Funds/Charles Schwab 2003 Black Investor Survey found that when comparing households where blacks and whites had roughly the same household incomes, whites saved nearly 20% more each month for retirement, and 30% of African-Americans earning $100,000 a year had less than $5,000 in retirement savings. (These figures ignore the size of the household, and provide no background for the study. I can't find anything regarding the study either. The base figure for people that invest in retirement income IS actually 68%, so that 70% figure is HIGHER than the norm.)

While 79% of whites invest in the stock market, only 61% of African-Americans do. Certainly, higher rates of unemployment, income disparity and credit discrimination are financial impediments to the economic vitality of blacks, but so are our consumer tastes. (Opinion passed off as fact is still not fact and the stock market is more volatile than the bond market, so who's the impulsive race now?)

By finding the courage to change our spending habits, we might be surprised at how far the $631 billion (631,000,000,000.00) we now earn might take us. (This is part of the mob mentality thing that captivates the Left. That money is most definitely NOT in a pool somewhere for all to sup. Vote Democrat because they are more in tune with the needs of the Black race!)

We all send thousands of jokes through e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages regarding life-affirming choices, people think twice about sharing. So please pass this on. (Because we all send thousands of jokes through e-mail. Don't fall for this propaganda, folks. Use your brain to discredit the liars and thieves that want your money)

This public service announcement has been brought to you by Your One-Stop Shop for Information. Don't thank me, it is just my job.

Gone 'Round The Bend

The phrase that Pam used to describe "Grieving Moral Authority Cindy Sheehan". This post will actually include my opinion.

Comments and e-mails in the last few days have been light except for the White Trash Wednesday post about Ms. Sheehan. Folks, let's see if you can buy a clue here.

You see, the United States military is an ALL VOLUNTEER army. Ours is not like the ones in the vast majority of other countries. Our service personnel sign up because they CHOOSE to enlist. If someone enlists in OUR military, it is done with the knowledge that they WILL have to shoot, fight, and in extreme cases, DIE in the service of our country. The Left has placed our military in the position of being policeman for the entire world. This is a very simple concept in most circles, but it seems that the far left has problems with the basic idea of exactly what the military does.

Our armed forces are exactly that: ARMED FORCES. I know that the Left wants our military to become a humanitarian group and do nothing but cart food and water around the globe, but the premise behind having a military is that they will kill people and break their stuff. Most children understand this concept at an early age.

To get to the point of actually publishing anything that Cindy Sheehan has to say or do shows complete lunacy on the part on the mainstream media. This woman has no new insight on anything. As long as there are wars in this world, there will be mothers burying their children. And as long as there are people on this planet, there will be wars.

Here's a FACT: There is no place on Earth that the policies of the Left haven't been tried and haven't failed. Except for Cuba and the success of the Left there is very obvious. It seems that throughout history, every country has tried to make achievement universal. It is just not possible. Every single person has different desires and goals and for the Left to attempt to dictate those ideals to people is a losing proposition.

Back to Cindy. She has adopted the policies of the Far Left as her platform. It is easy to discredit her because there is a whole boatload of information from antiquity forward for that sole purpose. Place her on a pedestal if you want moonbats, but don't come running to me if another Leftist is never elected again. This falls under the category of insanity. Y'all try everything in your power to discredit President Bush, but I recommend that y'all try to come up with policy that sells to the intelligent people instead of the unwashed, America haters.

Finally, my opinion on Cindy Sheehan. She has dishonored her son. She has used the death of her own flesh and blood to further an ideology that HE did not share. Could there be anyone more repugnant in a time of war? Sure, remember the same people back in the Sixties? Yes, they were/are traitors to the country. If they had actually accomplished what they were attempting, we would all be wearing the garb of the proletariat of Russia right now and starving to death.

Is Cindy Sheehan grieving the loss of her son? No, she is using his death to make herself popular with the people that will love her for a minute and discard her when the "new kid" comes along. Is she being used by the Left? No, she is very well aware what the outcome will be. It seems that she IS one of those people. Is she someone that President Bush should talk to? Obviously, because he has already talked to her. At length. Should we follow the advice of Leftists that want us to shut up? Sure, but it will happen as soon as those same Leftists quit trashing this country.

I know that I am late to this "Bash on Cindy" party, but trust me, I will be on top of the next incident like this that WILL start in September. That will be the time that the Left finds another champion in the never-ending quest to make this country SUCK like Cuba. At this particular time, the Left will move on, but maintain the idea that Cindy Sheehan did not have her head firmly wedged in her ass. But, she does.

Blogger Has Been Redeemed

It seems that Blogger has developed a new plug-in for Microsoft Word. Yep, you can now publish directly from Word and use all of the text tools. Blogger is steadily moving away from suckage. All is right with the world again. This is most definitely going to take some getting used to. Download it NOW

Twenty-Eight Years Ago Today

They lowered the King into the ground and my friend Pres was born. Happy Birthday Kiddo. May you have many more. And cut them damn sideburns.

And in News today, Hector has an interview with that whacked out nutjob that we all have learned to despise. And free music!

WTW - Oh My Burning Eyes!

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that Patrick Sheehan, the husband of Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war protester camped near President Bush's Texas ranch, filed a divorce petition on Friday in California's Solano County.

May you find peace, Patrick Sheehan.

'Nuff said?

Elvis Has Left the Building

Twenty-eight years ago, today. Damn, he was only forty-two years old. I am going to blow this next year out, baby. My grandfather, we called him "Pop", said live everyday as if the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders were in your bedroom right now and they were all nymphomaniacs. Cheers.

Rolling in the Dust

Those that have read my blog in the past will know that I have a thing about answering "Get Rich Quick" letters and today is no exception. Something is amiss with this one because it rings a bell with a past LETTER. I think that these people MIGHT be fudging the truth a tad, but it's always best to believe that people are basically good. Maybe I'm wrong, let's see.

The Letter:

Dear Mr. Dogs,

Mr Sani And Sister Need You Help.

I Hope This Mail Meets You In Good Health And Spirit, I Am, Sani Mohamed, A Sierra Leonia. Presently, I Live As A Refugee In republic of Senegal Dakar , With My Younger Sister,Mariam.

I Am A Victim Of War And The Son Of Late Chief Dr.Us man .Mohamed The Assassinated Former Assistant Director Of Sierra Leone Gold And Diamond Mining Corporation.

My Father Was Killed With Other Government Officials During Official Hours When The Rebel Troops Stormed And Raided The Mining Corporation Office At The Heat Of The Crisis In My Country.

A Few Weeks Later, The Rebels Also Invaded Our Residential Building In Which My Mother And Two Of Our Security Men Were Killed In The Compound While I Was Out For A Special Research Program And My Younger Sister Was In School.

I Had A Singular Shock And Trauma, Which Compelled Us To Flee From The Country To republic of Senegal Dakar By The Help Of An Army Colonel, Who Is A Close Friend Of My Late Father, I Have First Degree In Marketing And Would Have Further My Education If Not For The Death Of My Parents.

I Have Never Worked To Earn My Living Since My Late Parents Had Enough Wealth For Us.

I Am Contacting You Now Because Of The Present Difficulty I Am Facing. Unfortunately My Father's Two Accounts In West Africa Have Recently Been Frozen.

However This Did Not Affect The Twenty Million And Six Hundred Thousand Dollars (Us$20,600,000), Which He Kept In a security company in Senegal Dakar.

For Now, I Am Having Every Information And Document Needed For The Clearance Of The Money In The security company Here In Senegal Dakar And I Want You To Act As The Beneficiary Of The Fund For Easy And Smooth Transfer To Your Account Abroad For Investment Purposes.

You Will No Doubt Be Adequately Compensated With As Well As A Percentage Of The Profit From Investment Of The Fund. Also You Will See To It That My Sister And I Come Over To Your Country At The Earliest Possible Time. I Am Making This Request To You With Tears In My Eyes And I Feel That God Almighty Will Touch You With His Spirit To Listen To My Cry For Help And Answer Me Without Delay.

Since Our Breadwinner Is No More And This Is The Only Hope For Life. You Positive Response Will Give Me The Greatest Joy And Relief.

God Bless You For Your Kind Assistance We Have Agreed To Offer You 20% Of The Total Sum. Seriously Waiting For Your Urgent Reply.

Best regard

Mr.Sani & Sister

The Two Dogs Response:

You damn annoying little Quince,

Alrighty then! Listen up Sani, I tried to type like you and it got me so damn mad that I chunked my laptop across the room. Thank goodness for all the generous folks at all the damn mining corporations around the world that have embezzled money and socked it away for their whiny kids. I luckily have seventy-four computers that I have purchased for that sole purpose.

Dammit, how in the world do you type like that? I guess that you wear out the caps lock key every month. It is so damn distracting I had to go outside and kick my neighbors kid just to finish reading your mail.

Sorry, where were we again? Ah, yes, the show. Was your dad a doctor or was his name simply "Dr. US-man"? Freaky, dude. I guess that it takes all types though.

Well enough of the chit-chat, let's get down to business. What does your sister look like? Can you send me some pictures? Just make sure that you are not in them. Just the girl, please. You see, I am currently experiencing a, shall we say, drought in the romance department. I even put up a personals ad on some website last week. Man, those people are creepy.

Sani, I know that we have never met but I feel as if I have known you my entire life. Do you have a "Dukes of Hazzard" tattoo like me? (I have attached a picture, show it to your sister) I need friends like you and I am more than willing to send you my banking information.

Hit me back on my spammer account and wipe those damn tears sissy-boy. Oh, and Sani, if you ever type another message in this same manner, I will drop everything that I am doing right now, fly to where you are, and WHIP. YOUR. ASS.

Oh, and tell Mariam that I said "Duh-huh", she'll know what you mean.

Peace out,
Two Dogs

I'll keep y'all posted on developments.

Those Damn Great Democrats Part VI - Tom Harkin

Since I started this feature at your one-stop-shop of information, I have tried to stay on the more obscure Democrat Senators. This time I was not so lucky. Seems that the damn dog had it in her head to attack the voodoo doll of Tom Harkin (Dumbass-IA). "His" website HERE.

The LEAD article on "his" webpage is on the wonderment of Embryonic Stemcell Research. For those unfamiliar with ESR, we like to call it CRAP here because of the wonderful faulty science behind the concept. I just simply refuse to go into it here because we are bludgeoning Harkin in this post. If you want more stuff on CRAP go to Joe-6-Pack's site and read his stuff about it. He's like a scientist and stuff.

Anyway, the article on Harkin's site means that first and foremost, he is a blithering moron. But Hell, you knew that, isn't there a "D" by his name? Dead giveaway, I'm telling you. And here he is singing "Kumbaya" with another of the hand-wringers in Heaven's Gate Cult that we all call the Democrat Party. WITH THE HAND SIGNS, NO DOUBT! I have always wondered what words they use when they sing it.

On "Harkin's" current event PAGE, he delves even further into drooling wet-brain territory by addressing the politically correct issues of this particular day, Free-range printer ink, gotta fillibuster them damn judges, and fleece the tobacco companies. Do none of the Democrats realize that RJR is also Nabisco, and that they are friggin' huge food company? Hey, great idea, let's sue them outta existence. Food? Who needs that crap? And on to part two, this oughta be good.

Can you imagine a Senator talking about his Vietnam service and finding out that is was 100% untrue? Yea, I know that it is unbelievable that someone would LIE about that, but Harkin has done just that. HERE a little known blogger, Glenn Reynolds, I think is his name, talks about Harkin and his lies about Vietnam service. I just can't imagine someone lying about their service. Man, that's crazy. Here's some BACK-UP for the little known Reynolds, from another PJ-clad dude named Donald Sensing.

Dammit, these Democrat "people" make me sick to my stomach. Just remember what I am doing for y'all when it comes time to bury me.

CAN'T. GO. FURTHER. This guy just flat out sucks. If you want more, YOU go find it.

Butcher's Bill of Democrat Senators: Akaka, Daniel-(D-HI), Baucus, Max-(D-MT), Bayh, Evan-(D-IN), Biden, Joseph-(D-DE), Bingaman, Jeff-(D-NM), Boxer, Barbara-(D-CA), Byrd, Robert-(D-WV), Cantwell, Maria-(D-WA), Carper, Thomas-(D-DE), Clinton, Hillary-(D-NY), Conrad, Kent-(D-ND), Corzine, Jon-(D-NJ), Dayton, Mark-(D-MN), Dodd, Christopher-(D-CT), Dorgan, Byron-(D-ND), Durbin, Richard-(D-IL), Feingold, Russell-(D-WI), Feinstein, Dianne-(D-CA), Harkin, Tom-(D-IA), Inouye, Daniel-(D-HI), Jeffords, James-(I-VT), Johnson, Tim-(D-SD), Kennedy, Edward-(D-MA), Kerry, John-(D-MA), Kohl, Herb-(D-WI), Landrieu, Mary-(D-LA), Lautenberg, Frank-(D-NJ), Leahy, Patrick-(D-VT), Levin, Carl-(D-MI), Lieberman, Joseph-(D-CT), Lincoln, Blanche-(D-AR), Mikulski, Barbara-(D-MD),Murray, Patty-(D-WA), Nelson, Bill-(D-FL),Nelson, Ben-(D-NE), Obama, Barack-(D-IL), Pryor, Mark-(D-AR), Reed, Jack-(D-RI), Reid, Harry-(D-NV), Rockefeller, John-(D-WV), Salazar, Ken-(D-CO), Sarbanes, Paul-(D-MD), Schumer, Charles-(D-NY), Stabenow, Debbie-(D-MI), Wyden, Ron-(D-OR).

One For The Ladies

Nothing at all like having a bunch of drunk women around. It is most definitely worth the price of the liquor. Here we go:

Chocolate Snow Bear

You will need:
6-8 women
6-8 ounces Amaretto
6-8 ounces Creme de Cacao
12-16 dashes Vanilla Extract
30-40 oz. French Vanilla Ice Cream
1.5-2 oz. Chocolate Syrup

See the pattern? You can divide the quantities by the number of women. Throw the stuff in a blender and jam/whip for a little while. If you are actually serving women, you will need chilled champagne flutes or something girly like that. I use the NASCAR cups from Rallies.

Oh, Linda, don't drink all of this by yourself.

This Weekend's Quiz/Test Thing

Ironic? Creepy? Strange? You bet!

I'm Sean Connery!


The original, the best: star of 6 movies, including Dr. No, From Russia With Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice and Diamonds are Forever, you're Sean Connery.

Which James Bond are you?

He isn't Bond here, but I like the picture better.

Click For Cathy

UPDATE: This mission was a success in only two days. Click HERE for more information. Hooray for you good folks. You rock.

Hit this damn button every time you come here. It is for the best cause in the world and is the right thing to do. Do not make me find you.




My reason to live, Beth, has passed along the plea from Chris Muir of Day By Day to bring some attention to some serious issues. READ MORE. And take an entire day to click the button above because they need our help. It doesn't cost you one dime.

We're on our knees, Cathy and Chris. G_d bless.

WTW-Californy is the Place You Oughta Be

Not really a WTW post, but more a pimping for dollars. Hey, Jimmy Pete, you need a new trailer. Here's some photos of the ones that my slave driver and me done thoed together.

Double-Wide

Triple-Wide

Outhouse

Gitcher own!

How them look, Erik?

More Whoring From the Left

Well, once again John Kerry has defecated in my Cheerios. Man, there should be a law against this type of behavior. PLEASE. MAKE. IT. STOP.

Sorry to the regular readers of my insanity, this might be another long post, just bear with me.

The Letter and My Rebuttals:

Look Here Precious,

I am seriously tired of your e-mails. I believe that the correct term is "stalking". You have to understand that I am not a moron, so why do you keep e-mailing me? Trust me, I have no Purple Hearts to give away for any shaving nicks that you might have aquired lately.

That said, let's pick apart your stupid, lying crap yet again. Hey, let's attach your words if I can stand the stench.

Dear Two, (Does this make sense to you? It sounds like pillow talk. Hey, cozy up to the stupidity bar. What's your poison?)

They tried to put a brave public face (As opposed to your overly botoxed Herman Munster looking face) on. But, as they gathered in Pittsburgh this past weekend, GOP leaders and campaign strategists couldn't hide the fact that they've got their political backs to the wall. (Yea, because all that winning of elections makes people skeered, boy.)

Yes, there was lots of energy at the meeting, but it was the nervous energy of panicked politicians and operatives (We call yours "Idiots".) who know their luck (WTF?) is running out. (Face it, you have absolutely lost your mind or are catering to the vast majority of morons that fester in your party)

Last week, Democrat Paul Hackett, a political newcomer (As was Schmidt, who won by 3.5 percent, forgot that, huh?) and Iraqi combat veteran (Man, you better point this out about eleventy billion more times, but he was whipped by a girl), came within 4,600 votes of winning an Ohio special election in a heavily Republican district (57th in the nation). Republican operatives laughed about how easily they could defend this district (I'm still laughing because you lost by a whopping 3.5% in a race that you put a veteran up against a unknown girl.) until Ohio voters shocked them and sent a clear signal (That Democrats suck) of what 2006 holds (And are losers even when they brainwash soldiers to run for their party. Again I say that your poster boy unknown was beaten by a girl.)

Rick Santorum -- the poster boy (Copy cat) for the most extreme elements of the Bush agenda (Uh, Bush is a moderate, but you probably can't tell from your Fascist Leftist viewpoint) -- was a featured speaker at the GOP meeting. Senator Santorum is trailing Bob Casey (Ring a bell, Ding-Dong?), his Democratic (Damn John, even you call your party the "Democratic" Party. It is actually the Democrat Party, dumbass.) opponent, and may be the most vulnerable Republican in the country. (As opposed to every last one of the Democrats who are all cowered in the corner, sucking thumb, and pissing pants. Hey pick the biggest loser in the loser barrel.)

And, Karl Rove, whom George W. Bush calls the "architect" of his political success, wasn't anywhere to be seen at the meeting (The "architect" has left the building.) Rove likes to show up at Republican gatherings with his divisive rhetoric and schoolboy taunts aimed at the President's opponents. (Wow, what a schoolboy taunt. But, he probably likes to hang out with his friends, something that you lack. Plus, he was at home polishing his light saber, fruitboy. He knew that your big, bad army man couldn't beat his tough minded chick.) But now, his involvement in exposing the identity of a CIA agent for political revenge has put Rove's bare-knuckles (Want some of this, sissy?) political tactics under intense scrutiny. (This: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Intense scrutiny by Kosbat is like a arm-baby trying to find his pacifier. Remember when you did the exact same thing that you say that KKKarl did?)

The Republican National Committee used its national strategy meeting in Pittsburgh to kick off its drive to survive the most critical elections of 2005 and 2006. (Yea, if "surviving" means solidifying our control of every branch of the Federal government. Wonder what you will call what the Democrats do at a strategy meeting? We like to call it, "Shooting yourself in the foot".) We at the grassroots need to use the GOP meeting to raise the funds Democratic candidates need to take it to the Republicans in races all across America. (Since when did being the kept man of a multi-millionaire get defined as "grassroots"? Might as well call it "premblememblamation" or "nar", that makes as much sense.)

Make a Contribution (Find a job!)

With the money they'll raise and the tactics (We call yours "risky schemes".) they'll use, GOP candidates won't be easy to beat despite their dismal record on the problems that concern America's families. (Yep, that's why they lose, uh, wait, nevermind.) But, that's okay. We don't care about easy or hard. (Because you're going to try to win in the courts anyway.) We just plan to do what it takes to win. (Like lie, cheat, steal, and lie again.)

So, take a moment right now to send Rove (KKKarl is a baaaaad man) Republicans like Rick Santorum a powerful message. (Like, hey, keep up the great work?) Help Keeping America's Promise make it clear that Democrats are ready, willing and able to compete in every critical race across America. (I actually know one that y'all are capable of winning, The Race To Oblivion!)

Make a Contribution (Eat me, Loser-Boy)

Let's show that the cynical (sane and thoughtful) politics of the Rove (KKKarl is a baaaaad man) Republicans will be no match for the commitment and energy of our grassroots (dumbass) movement. Let's go to work. (John, the people that are listening to your party do not understand the term "work".)

Thank you,
John Kerry

Just to let you know, the demonization of Newt Gingrich worked so well for your party that you lost another seven seats in the House. You might want to rethink this 'stategery'.

Okay, I have unsubscribed to your e-mail list twice now, do you think that maybe you could leave the adults alone for a day to get some work done? Will you please go play with your trucks in the sandbox for a while? I have some lives to save here.

Love ya', mean it,
Your pal,
Two Dogs

We'll see tomorrow exactly how stupid this guy is. Did you know that his grades were as bad as Albert Gore's? That's a big, damn, hairy deal because Gore even flunked out of divinity school. Remember, VOTE DEMOCRAT!

Working on My Personals Profile

I have decided to try to meet someone online because I rarely have time to pursue an actual relationship. Man, they ask some stupid questions and then you have to describe yourself in 120 words or less. Here's my first attempt, maybe y'all can help.

My Headline:
Multi-Millionaire Submissive Male Model and Rocket Scientist Seeks Domineering Woman!

My Description Thing:
After being voted sexiest man alive for the last four years, I have decided to try to meet women online. My interests include: creating seasonal floral centerpieces, purchasing vast amounts of women's shoes, cooking and cleaning, changing diapers, going to the mall, traveling to obscure seaside villas in foreign countries, horseback riding on moonlit beaches in exotic places, small showdogs, plowing the Joneses under, writing love letters, poetry, and Christmas cards, redecorating and moving furniture, washing and folding clothes, romantic candle-lit dinners, pedicures, weekends at the spa, talking about our lives and your feelings, talking to your mother on the phone, and "just" cuddling.

Did I miss anything? Further suggestions are welcomed.

UPDATE: The Photos! Which will it be?

Spammalammadingdong

Someone has obviously signed me up for the John Kerry e-mail list. I am sure that John appreciates this, but I bet he didn't expect to get responses. Well, he got this one.

The Letter:
Dear Two,

This weekend the GOP is kicking off its 2006 campaign cycle at the party's annual summer meeting in Pittsburgh, with Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum playing host. What does it say about the Republican leadership that they're putting a right-wing extremist at the center of their effort to keep control of the Senate? It says that their goal isn't just to hold on to power, but to drag America away from mainstream values and the issues that matter to ordinary Americans.

I'm not up for re-election in 2006, but I - like every Democrat - must do everything in my power to fight to restore responsible leadership in the House and Senate that will act on behalf of the interests of average Americans whose voices are being drowned out in Washington today.

You bet we wanted to win last November, but it turns out that one of the things we did accomplish in 2004 was this: we built an incredibly powerful organizational force online and offline that can come together again in 2006 to win back the House and Senate.

Like it or not, that fight starts now.

With five million supporters and activists, we've formed an organization called Keeping America's Promise. Our work is to mobilize volunteers, activists, donors - and of course voters - in support of tight and winnable races.

Without you, the Senate and House will stay in the hands of outside-the-mainstream Republicans. Please support our preparations for victory in 2006 by making a donation to Keeping America's Promise today:

Make a Contribution

Consider what's at stake in just Democrat Bob Casey's race against Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum. Santorum is totally out of touch with the reality facing American families and totally out of touch with mainstream American values. And yet he has become the mainstream within the Republican Party:

Santorum believes millions of people are uninsured because, "some people don't want [insurance] - like the Amish." [Harrisburg Patriot, 6/10/97]
Santorum believes child care is a "Washington" issue that ordinary Americans don't care about. [Congressional Quarterly, 3/9/05]
He said that the environmental movement's days are numbered and that environmentalism is against nature. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 4/24/95]
He believes in privatizing Social Security. [Congressional Record, S3231, 4/5/05]
Santorum thinks it's wrong to help single mothers earn a college degree. In his book, It Takes a Family, Santorum said that "The notion that college education is a cost-effective way to help poor, low-skill, unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs move up the economic ladder is just wrong." [It Takes a Family, pg. 138]

By the time the GOP wraps up its summer summit on Saturday afternoon, we need to have raised $500,000 to support our work to defeat extremists like Rick Santorum.

Make a Contribution

The 2006 Congressional election cycle will be a fight between two competing visions of America's future:

Democrats see an America where everyone has an opportunity to work hard and get ahead. Republicans see an America where the special interests get their way and families get the short end of the stick. Democrats see an America that is energy independent and a good steward of the environment. Republicans see an America that continues to send its hard earned paychecks to the Saudis and risks sending our sons and daughters to the battlefields of the Middle East over oil that's beyond our control, in the hands of unstable and undemocratic regimes.

Winning back the majority in the US Congress is an essential step toward realizing an American future that you and I want for our families and for our children.

And because of the power we built together in this amazing online and offline community, your continuing support of Keeping America's Promise is now a critical ingredient to winning the fight.

But we can only compete and win if you stand with us. Please make a donation today:

Make a Contribution

Thank you,

John Kerry

The Response:

My Dear Mr. Kerry,
Please understand that I offer my most humble condolences on your absolute loss of sanity. While I certainly appreciate your attempt to try to sway me to the side of the morons, I must regretfully decline. You see, my head is not completely up my ass like the dumbasses that vote for your LOSER party. And just out of curiosity, does it look odd that you addressed this spammer mail to someone named "Two"?

Let's look at the drivel contained in your spam-mail that was sent to me completely unsolicited. I have never witnessed such utter whoring for money in all my born days. Your letter looks like an Oral Roberts plea for funds. Maybe you are actually his long lost brother, "Anal".

Here we go. You start this crap not by spelling out your intentions for our country but by once again attacking Republicans. Santorum is a "right-wing extremist"? How does it look when the Democrat Party has an Far-Left, Purple Heart stealing, Lurch-resembling, traitorous, lying, gold-digging, appeasement monkey as its Presidential candidate? Nobody is buying your crap. Oh, and you throw and catch like a girl. No offense to all those girls that can actually throw and catch. You know what I mean.

Funny thing that you should point out all these things that Rick believes and never point out what you believe. Let me help.

You believe that instead of people taking care of themselves, everyone should be FORCED into some nationalized healthcare program run with more of my own DAMN money. You believe that the government should control our kids in the ridiculous Head-Start programs to further indoctrinate them in the ways of the Left. You believe that the Far-Left terrorist organizations like PETA and ELF should provide the foundations for crippling businesses with oppressive environmental programs that do nothing to protect our planet. You believe that the "little people" should never be able to build real wealth by managing the 13% of our income that you confiscate to purchase more votes from ill-informed seniors that you have scared to death. There is no LOCKBOX, dumbass. And finally you believe that the single mother should be forced to leave her kids in government subsidized daycare getting brain-washed while she goes to school to learn how to clean one of your many mansions.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe someone would be tricked into voting for your far left ideas if you would simply admit that you are a Splodeydope? Dammit boy, most people want to hear what you are FOR, not what you are AGAINST. Please Johnny, I'm begging you, just come out and say that your's is the party of Moonbats. "Birds of a feather" and all.

You are not up for re-election because you did not have the guts to resign your Senate seat like any self-respecting person would do when they were running for President. Uh, think Bob Dole. He knew his was a lost cause but still had the fortitude to do the LEGAL thing. Not good for you, John-boy. Maybe you can actually get charged with a crime for that.

I am sure that you did want to win last November, but I am also sure that you knew you wouldn't. Why else would you continue to hold your Senate seat much to the dismay of everyone concerned about this country? Furthermore, I hate to be the one to tell you, but the chances of the Democrats winning back the Congress at any point in the near future are slim to none. Maybe you didn't notice, but y'all elected that dumbass Howard Dean as Chairman of your party and since that time donations have slowed to a trickle. Stupid move, you morons.

Wow! Y'all have an organization of five million people? Man that sounds just like the membership of Moveon.stupid. Coincidence? Prolly not. Did it ever occur to you that you might want to look into trying to trick people that can actually vote? An organization consisting of five million felons and Muslim terrorists will probably not win too many elections, but hey, keep trying. And if you are counting the heads that you are spamming, maybe you need to do one of those world famous Democrat recounts that y'all cry about all the time. It seems that I am among those fortunate five million.

I am so glad that you have recognized that Republicans are outside of the mainstream. That is one of the reasons that they win elections. It's 'cause they are so few and far between. Does this makes sense to you? It doesn't make sense to all of us people that vote Republican and are outside of the mainstream. WTF?

Man, your senseless crap just really ticks me off. There can't be anyone that would actually think that you have the slightest clue what you are talking about. Do you remember that you are the dumbass that wants to rollback the tax cuts? Can you come to the conclusion that is the reason that WORKING people don't vote for your stupid party?

Do you really think that anyone that can add thinks that the current Social Security program is a good idea? Man, you have got to be kidding. I promise if you will just let me out of the program, you can keep the dollars I have paid up to this point. Just let me out.

The only thing missing from this e-mail is the mind-controlling subliminal sounds that you would have to play to get thinking people to believe one thing that you have said here. Geez, you ARE dumber that Chimpy McHitlerburton. Your comparisons of the two parties are further from the truth than Harry Potter books.

Johnny, please stop spamming me and I promise not to come to one of your twelve multi-million dollar houses, you "Man of the Working People", and KICK. YOUR. ASS. Oh, and tell Teeeereeeeeeza to put a bag over her scary face, she's making all of us sick and making the kids have nightmares.

I offer you the right to use this and any of the subsequent correspondence that you WILL receive from me if you keep up this spamming crap. Just put this e-mail up on your website to show everyone exactly how far outta the damn mainstream that I am.

Oh, and thanks for thanking me for helping Paul Hackett lose in Ohio in your other spam-mail. Yeah, y'all can't even get a veteran elected anymore. Too bad that Republicans are so far out of the mainstream.

Massachusetts sucks and you do too.

With love and kisses,
Two Dogs

Quiz For The Weekend!

Fear me, for now I have my answer. And another quiz with some great grammar and spelling. Who da thunk it?


Looks like you have failed and will be going to
Hell. No worries, over half the people who
take this quiz will be getting this result. At
least you were honest to answer the questions
truthfully and you might stand a chance in
getting into Heaven. Oh well, look on the
bright side, at least you won't be cold!


Are you going to Heaven or Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla

Uh, It's A What?

Okay, this one's name is a little odd, but still it's got caffeine and alcohol. That's a mixture that always goes yard for me. (Baseball reference there.)


Spunky Monkey:

2 shots coffee liqueur
1 shot amaretto almond liqueur
1 Howler Monkey (I tend to leave this out, those little bastards scratch)
1/2 cup half-and-half

Chunk all that crap in a blender with some ice. Screw warming the blender up by working up the toggles, jump on some "puree". (Dammit! Top ON!) My recipe book actually calls for a "highboy" glass. I chose the Fred Flintstone Bama Jelly glass, but that's how I roll.

For some reason this strikes me as one of those "Shade Drinks". Gotta suck this one down on the porch. "Hey you damn kids, git outta my yard!"

Why I Have Been Voting Republican

Having consumed about half of my alloted time on Earth, I have continually tried to expand my knowledge on a plethora of topics. Today I will explain, albeit briefly, why I choose to vote for those dastardly Republicans and hopefully everyone will be convinced in the same manner that I was.

In 1989, my life was altered totally, completely, and eternally. It seems that I spawned. I know that y'all are scared that my lineage has been continued, but it is done and I am proud.

Until the time that my boy was birthed, I cared not one whit about politics or government. I did vote for Reagan and then I voted for Bush One for President. It was just the right thing to do after watching what the Democrats had in store for our country with Jimmy Carter. Man, 21% home mortgage rates is the only thing that the Left has to offer.

Anyhoo, I started looking into schools, colleges, job opportunities, and my young family's future. With very little study I immediately realized that our government had extended its control over our lives and families. This was bad in my mind and in any other intelligent person's as well.

Government in any form becomes oppressive at some point and must be reformed. That was what I saw. The Republicans had NOT been in power for years and years and I saw that as the path to direct change because the Democrats had moved more and more towards Socialism and Fascism over the course of their reign. I began to vote for the Republicans and became increasingly more satisfied with where they were leading the country.

(to be continued)

Happy Birthday, Joe

Sorry for being a day late, but Joe Elliot celebrated his forty-sixth yesterday. He looks great for a vegan. And quit hanging out with that loser. Lars, you suck.

This Week's Carnivals, Symphonies, and Bonfires

The Best of Me Symphony is up at The Owner's Manual. Oldies but goodies. Check 'em out.