It's Too Damn Hot and I'm Too Damn Sober

Being the good Catholic that I am, I decided to head to Mass and come back home and do what most Catholics do on Sunday, get drunk. Don't cough up your skull Shirley, I'm not driving! Well, maybe to the liquor store.









Frozen Mudslide!
Assemble these provisions:
1 Pint Absolut vodka
1 Pint Bailey's Irish cream
1 Pint Kahlua coffee liqueur
A bunch of damn ice
1 Pint cream
12 scoops Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream
24 scoops Haagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream

Chunk the ice in your industrial size blender. (At some point in the near future, I am going to post the instructions for making your own!) When the ice is busted up enough, add the remaining ingredients and blend until really smooth on blender's highest setting. For me, I just jam the foot pedal all the way to maximum stop. What, you don't have a foot pedal on YOUR blender? The proper serving vessel is one that doesn't sweat too much and can hold alot of this concoction. As always, I like the Rally's NASCAR cups.

This serves one Catholic or ten Baptists. It also gets pretty expensive when you use Haagen-Dazs.

Sissy-Boy Style
1 1/2 oz Absolut
1 1/2 oz Bailey's
1 1/2 oz Kahlua
8 ice cubes
1 1/2 oz cream
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
2 scoops chocolate ice cream

Serve in a "highball" and hold your pinky out. Geez.